Between the Hashes - Week 7

Welcome back SportzFanz to yet another week, Between The Hashes. In each issue we take a look at the College Football landscape and report on the state of all things Grid Iron. This weekend was packed with so much cardiac arrest action, I nearly keeled over dead watching the final 92 seconds of the USC-Notre Dame game. Before I break down into fits of rage over the ridiculousness that ensued in South Bend, we better get down to the action…


What This Week Will Be Remembered For
Last second heroics. Of course, this one might only be remembered for that Instant Classic up in South Bend, but in truth it should be remembered for the last minute heroics of USC, Alabama, Boston College, Wisconsin, West Virginia, UCLA and Michigan. Now if the only thing that you can remember is that last second fiasco in Indiana, here’s a run down on each of those miraculous victories:

USC’s Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart stole a victory away from the Irish on Saturday Night. With 92 seconds remaining on the clock, the Trojans embarked on the impossible and did it: scoring on the last play of the game to nab the victory. Of course, it helped that the officials miss-spotted the ball on the final play (it should have been closer to the 2 yard line, not the goal line). Oh, and yeah, it also helped that the officials didn’t throw a flag on the Trojans’ Reggie Bush for illegally pushing a stopped Matt Leinart into the endzone.

On a rain soaked night, Boston College’s WR Kevin Challenger hauled in the game winning catch with 1:18 left on the clock as the Eagles squeaked by the Demon Deacons, 35-30. The victory finally came after BC rallied for a second time: once from 17 down in the first half and then finally, trailing 30-21 with 3:27 left on the clock. The game ball goes to Eagle back up QB Matt Ryan who replaced a largely ineffectual Quinton Porter under center on the game’s final two drives.

Alabama struggled all afternoon against the Rebels, losing yet another wide receiver to injury. This time it was DJ Hall early in the first half. Fortunately for the Tide though, Brodie Croyle was able to calmly lead them down the field on the final drive to set up PK Jamie Christensen’s game winning 31-yard field goal as time expired.

The Badgers rallied from ten down with only 3:27 left on the clock to lay claim to the Axe. Wisconsin QB John Stocco calmly led his team 71 yards down the field to cut the lead to three with two minutes remaining. On Minnesota’s ensuing possession, the Gophers were unable to gain a first down (despite having rushed for 411 yards on the day) and were forced to punt from their own 11 with just 30 ticks. Punter Justin Kucek partially muffed the snap, allowing Jonathon Casillas to race in for the block and fellow Badger Ben Strickland to pounce on the ball in the endzone for the game winning score.

West Virginia overcame a 24-7 3rd quarter deficit by scoring on each of their final 5 drives, including one to tie the game at 24 with a minute left on the clock. With the game in overtime, WVU and Louisville traded punches all the way into a third overtime. On the game’s final play with West Virginia leading 46-44, Mountaineer defensive tackle Eric Wicks sacked QB Brian Brohm during Louisville’s 2-point attempt to seal the victory and light something like fifty thousand mattresses in the state of West Virginia (cause that’s just what they do when they win a big one).

UCLA rallied from 21 down to force overtime against Washington State, snatching their first victory in four tries against these Cougars, and their first one in a dozen years up in Pullman.

Penn State’s Michael Robinson scored from 3 yards out with 53 seconds left in the game to give the Nittany Lions a 25-21 lead, but Wolverine WR Steve Breaston returned the kickoff to midfield and Michigan’s Chad Henne marshaled his team down the field to the Nits ten yard line. With a single second left on the clock, Henne took the snap from under center and found freshman WR Mario Manningham in the end zone to send all 111,249 maniacal fans in the Big House into a frenzy. Side note: Penn State scored 15 points over a 17 second stretch –a rushing touchdown, a fumble recovery for a touchdown, and a 2-point conversion—giving them an 18-10 lead early in the fourth quarter.


Today’s Topic – The Rant
It’s official: I know loathe the Trojans more than any of the other 118 teams in Division 1-A. I can’t explain it really, but when I see them on TV, hear someone talking about them, or even see images of SC in my head I get downright nauseous and have the sudden urge to kick something –and kick it hard. Maybe it’s because I can’t help but think of each one of the SC players as nothing but candy asses. No, mainly, it’s because of their knack for pulling out the win in games they ought to lose (see any of the past three weeks of action). Especially though, it’s how they won that game in South Bend this weekend, but more to the point it’s how they bragged about winning it.

Ok, ok, I know: everyone pushes the running back forward in a goal line situation. But you know what? A), I’ve never seen it be used that blatantly. B), I’ve never seen it done to decide a game like that. And C), I’ve never heard someone so proud of flagrantly breaking the rules to win the game (see the Matt Leinart-Reggie Bush quote down below for more on that one). It’s just sickening, it really is. To make matters worse now there will be no end to the talk of a three-peat when SC hasn’t even won back-to-back BCS titles! Well at least people don’t consider Saragin, Dunkel or Matthews to be mainstream polls, otherwise all those Trojanites out their would be pounding their chest about FOUR straight titles!


Today’s Topic – The Rant, Part Two
Texas did in fact come out as #2 in the BCS this week; however, all the scuttlebutt prior to this weekend put them at #3 with Virginia Tech in the two slot. That was ‘supposed’ to happen despite Texas being the consensus #2 pick in all of the human polls since preseason and despite knocking off Michigan in the Rose, Ohio State in the Horseshoe, and Oklahoma in Dallas over a six game stretch.

So how could Texas have been anything other than #2? Well, because the BCS relies so heavily on computer polls. The 5 computer polls used in the BCS ranking scheme apparently had Virginia Tech in the 6 slot and Texas in the 7 (prior to this week). And if you think that’s crazy, consider this: Penn State was #1 in the computer polls and Florida State #2 –yes, that’s right, both teams that lost this past weekend were the computer poll’s #1 and #2 teams. And what of USC? Well, they were sitting pretty at three. Ludicrous, simply ludicrous.

You see the problem with using computer rankings, right? They don’t take into account the intangibles of college football. The home crowd whipping the defense up into a frenzy, the arch-rivalries, the streakiness of 18 year olds when put under stress and adversity, the turn of a game on one simple play –even if the ref got the call wrong. Heck, they don’t even take into account that Texas scored 42 points in the first three quarters, pulled all of its starters, and then took a knee inside the Colorado 10 to end the game. And what about that USC-ND game? From that game, can a computer accurately record and ‘calculate’ the relative strength of Notre Dame and Southern Cal to the rest of the country? Hell no.

How can you quantify all that makes college football, college football into a set of hashed out statistics and reasonably say that that should be the basis for determining who the best teams in college football are? It’s equal parts insanity and stupidity –just as much, I fear, as the bloated $100 Million BCS itself.


Your Instant Impact Quotes of the Week Are:
This week’s Instant IQs are:

1. "Thanks for tossing that one under the bus there Erin," Kirk Herbstreit in the booth thanking sideline reporter Erin for trying to keep people interested during the Clemson-NC State blowout. She spent three minutes telling a story about how one of the coaches had to, crinch, take time away from preparing for a game to pick his daughter up from school.

2. "Is that the guy that beat your butt at playstation?", the play-by-play man in the booth, talking to Kirk as the Tigers scored another one on the Wolfpack. His reply was a very despondent ‘yeah’. In fact, he was so distressed about the whole thing he proceeded to explain that having triplets at home meant he just doesn’t have enough time to practice and get ‘really good’.

3. “Eric Petermen, who will go down the field in his urban sombrero.” Rece Davis in the studio, showing a Northwestern touchdown highlight. Good one, Rece. Who writes your stuff, Elaine Benice?

4. “Evridge’s wobble but they don’t fall down.” The color man, watching K-State QB Allen Evridge pick himself up off the turf after being knocked down by Tech’s Slay for the umpteenth time: No they sure don’t, but Wildcats do, and I don’t think they’ll figure out until at least Tuesday exactly what it was that hit them in the second half.

5. “Some days you just get your butt handed to you.” Ed Cunningham, covering the Colorado-Texas game. Yep, but if you’re real lucky, you get it handed to you with a side of butt-whip.

6. “That’s a helmet that came off, not a fumble.” Gary Thorne, clarifying the situation out on the field. Thanks Gary, I was getting awfully worried about that for a second there.

7. "That's a dang coaching mistake. The kids are playing their tail off and the coaches are screwing it up." Michigan State head coach John L Smith on losing to Ohio State. Hey, keep your chin up there John and remember: Just admitting that you have a problem is half the battle.

8. "He's like, 'Your welcome man. I pushed your back,’ I was like, 'Thanks dude.'" Matt Leinart, recalling his conversation with Reggie Bush after the final play of the game against the Irish. I was like, so disgusted man, I don’t even have to gag myself with a spoon -my innards are projectiling themselves all over the kitchen wall.

9. These next three are just an interesting look inside the mind of three star head coaches, all of whom ironically lost this weekend. You’ve got the two coaches with the most victories in D1-A all-time, and one of the supposedly hottest commodities in all of football:
Urban Meyer: “You'll never hear me say I'm proud of the team, because I'm not when they lose.” That’s not very PC, but hey that’s not what they pay him for.
Joe Paterno: "It was a great football game. Our kids hung in there, I'm proud of them." Yeah, that’s old school talk for, ‘Nice job, I’m kicking your butt next year.’
Tommy Bowden: "I don't have a lot to say. All I want to say, you can't print." Well, at least he’s honest and polite.

And this week’s Instant IQ award goes to…
The crew covering the Texas Tech-Kansas State game. I jumped right into the middle of this one and let me tell you, it was several minutes before I could bring pen and paper to record it:
“I gotta tell you my marbles are better looking than yours.”
“I can’t argue that.”
“Yeah, I know you can’t.”


This week’s Super-Stud Awards go to…

1. Cody “I’m finally a senior” Hodges, QB Texas Tech – Talk about sick: he takes the cake for single game yardage this season with 643 through the air and 5 touchdowns on 44 of 65 attempts against Kansas State. He now has 2,461 yards passing and 22 piggy scores thru six games. In just one day, he threw for more yardage than North Texas, Duke, and Rice have all season. In fact, if he were a team he’d be the 39th ranked offense all on his lonesome!

2. Colt ‘45’ Brennan, QB Hawaii – He thought he had single game honors all but locked up this week, that is until Mr. Hodges riddled the Wildcat secondary. Colt blew away New Mexico State for 515 yards through the air and SEVEN touchdowns as the Warriors stormed past the Aggies, 49-28.

3. Joel ‘Feeling-a-’ Filani, WR Texas Tech – With 10 catches for 255 yards and a touchdown, he gets the Big12 all-time record for single-game receiving yardage. Tech’s own Donnie Hart had owned that one with 241 yards back in 1996.

4. Taurean ‘Delorean’ Henderson, RB Texas Tech –He nabbed 10 catches for 117 yards and five touchdowns on the day, but what really gets him on this list is that he set the NCAA all-time record for most receptions by a running back (241 and counting…).

5. In-Vince-able Young, QB Texas – In his best game of the season, Young scored 5 times (two of them with his legs) as Texas routed Colorado 42-17. Young did most of his damage the air, throwing for 336 yards on stellar 25 of 29 passing. Side note: You know you’ve got something special when the opposing coach admits that he isn’t even sure if he has the athletes to compete with your team.

6. Laurence ‘My’ Maroney, RB Minnesota – It wasn’t this Heisman worthy sled dog’s fault the Gophers lost the Axe Saturday. He rushed for a career-high 258 yards against the Badgers, including a 93-yarder early in the third quarter. With that effort, Maroney joins Michigan State's Sedrick Irvin and Wisconsin's Ron Dayne as the only backs in Big Ten history to net 1,000-yard rushing seasons in each of their first three years.

7. The Bludgeoning Buckeye Defense – Anybody who didn’t think they were all that and a side of butt-whip, check this stat out: they sacked the Spartans Drew Stanton a school record 12 TIMES. TWELVE TIMES.

8. Steve Slaton, RB West Virginia – Mountaineer Head Coach Rich Rodriguez opted out of his 4 back rotation this week, instead handing the rock to Slaton again, and again, and again. He responded with 188 yards on 31 carries and SIX touchdowns. Gee, ya think he earned that starting spot or what?

9. Dwayne ‘Spay’Em, don’t Slay’Em’, DB Texas Tech – While Slay only recorded ten official tackles (seven solo), he forced two turnovers, knocked down the Wildcat QB about a dozen times, and totally destroyed one of the Wildcat receivers. If he doesn’t deserve the title RaiderBack, I don’t know who does.

10. Conner ‘I’m not a Duck’ Hughes, PK Virginia – He nailed 4 of 4 field goals this weekend, helping the Cavaliers defeat the Seminoles, 26-21, for the first time in a decade. He has now made ten in a row and is 58 of 70 as a Cavalier.


Riding the Bench This Week is…

1. The Bumbling Buckeye Offense. In a week in which you should have lit up one of the worst pass defenses in the land, you didn’t even run a play in their half of the field until the final five minutes of the game. To make matters worse, you fumbled the ball six times and lost four of them. No wonder the home crowd of 105,112 booed you so zealously. Note to Tressle: Nobody cares that your wretched offense leads the Big10 in time of possession.

2. The Florida State front line – Booker and Washington are both more than just ‘able’ backs. Your lack of blocking (or rather, holding the block) resulted in the Cavaliers keeping FSU’s Thunder and Lightning from being any part of a possible come from behind victory. The FSU backfield managed just 20 yards on 28 carries –now that just ain’t right.


Random Hits and Misses
My moments of clarity and confusion this weekend are:

1. How upset do you think Pete Carroll would have been if USC hadn’t converted on that 4th down and ended up losing due to a bad call out on the field that couldn’t be overturned because he refused to allow instant replay in the game? Brady Quinn rushed for the go ahead touchdown with about two minutes remaining, but a closer look on replay showed his knee down prior to him stretching the ball across the stripe. Of course, the fact that SC ended up winning because there was no replay to overturn Reggie Bush blatantly pushing Matt Leinhart into the endzone probably doesn’t bother Carroll as much as it does me.

2. VaTech who? Texas destroyed Colorado over the weekend. Anyone that has the Hokies ahead of the Longhorns is nuts. Maybe they’ll deserve to be there later in the season (like after the ACC title game), but right now you are freaking nuts if you think the Hokies should be ranked ahead of the Longhorns.

3. The most humorous moment of the weekend had nothing at all to do with College Football. While ‘channeling up’ from CBS to ABC, I crossed our local NBC station that was covering some LPGA action down in South Africa, I believe. Grace Park, in her first tour event (she turned 16 like a day ago), was trying to figure out how to chip a lie that was surrounded by rock and scrub brush 20 feet up the side of a desert hill and onto the green at the 8th hole. She practice swung for like EVER, before taking her real stroke ….a swing, and a miss! Oh, it was more than a little embarrassing for Miss Park (of course, I shouldn’t talk, I once missed the whole ball while still on the tee box!). For her next shot, she pulled a few rocks out of the ground around her lie (which I didn’t know was actually allowed) and then swung again. This time she connected, but was only able to advance the ball about five feet into the middle of a thorny bush. Apparently, the rules allow you to move rocks but not bushes as she ended up having to drop her ball 30 yards down the hill and across a small ravine over on the 7th fairway (she had to drop it in a straight line with the current lie and the flag, but not any closer to the flag than the current lie). Her next shot, from the fairway on Seven, was a beauty, landing right in the middle of the green on 8 –nice shot Grace.

4. Is it really legal for linebackers to have clubs instead of hands? In the Alabama-Ole Miss game, Rebel linebacker, #49 Patrick Wilis had a cast on his hand that was wrapped in bubble wrap, then wrapped in another cast, AND THEN wrapped in athletic tape. It was like he was carrying around a 5 foot long q-tip –and I swear I saw him smacking the offensive linemen with it on his way to knocking down Tide QB Brodie Croyle.

5. Reason #437 that nobody should have been watching the Texas-Colorado game in the 4th quarter while that other game over on the Peacock was going on: Gary Thorne and Ed Cunningham held a five minute dissertation on how rap music, while horrible to listen too, is a window into the hearts and minds of the young kids who have had to overcome adversity to make it big in sports. Oh, and lest I forget, they also made quite a comparison between 40’s love songs and today’s rap songs. I guess I just didn’t realize that Gary and Ed are about 80 years old.

6. Reason #765 that nobody should have been watching the end of the Texas-Colorado game: Ed and Gary discussed and, apparently decided, that there is no difference between being a marine and being a football player. The only thing more painful than listening to this conversation was hearing them tick off all of the ‘war terms’ that are used in college football. Oh, and if you were wondering, I TIVO’s the UT game and only watched this painful broadcasting effort after the Trojans kidnapped a leprechaun and rubbed him all over Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart.

7. Is it just me or is this the WORST IDEA EVER: FOX has a new channel called Fox Reality and their tagline is, ”All Reality, All the Time, because you just can’t get enough.” Oh, I’ve sooo had enough.

8. Note to Cal Golden Bears fans: you now have a two game losing streak. If you’d prefer, I can call it a two game regular season losing streak.

9. Must be something in the water: I’ve never seen so many guys have 2 picks in a game on the same weekend: California, La.-Monroe, TCU, Bowling Green, Syracuse, Kansas, and Eastern Michigan all had guys grab two picks. Not to be outdone though, the East Carolina Pirates had two manly men grab a pair of picks each: Delirious Demetrius Hodges and Pierre ‘Don’t call me Peter’ Parker.

10. I’ve heard crews are now starting to plan how to restore the Superdome in New Orleans. Instead of leveling it and starting anew, it looks like they are just going to try to put it back together again as quickly as possible in an effort to keep football in New Orleans. One official was quoted as saying that unless the repairs/restoration was going to cost more than 51 percent of the estimated $270 million cost to replace the dome, they would simply restore it. You know, sometimes saving a few bucks (or even a few million), just isn’t the right thing to do. I mean, who in their right mind would want to step back inside that place after what happened in the aftermath of Katrina? Plus, if they tear it down and re-build it they should be able to put together a world class facility that people will be fighting to get inside –not outside- of.


Next Week’s Quick Peeks

Virginia Tech @ Maryland – In a wonderful little matchup on Thursday night, the Hokies travel to College Park for some Turtle Soup. While Maryland started off the season a little slow, they’ve come on strong in the past few weeks, knocking off Wake Forest, Virginia, and Temple. And while Terp QB Sam Hollenbach isn’t nearly as flashy as Uber-Hokie Marcus Vick, he is the ACC’s leader in total offense. Expect a great defensive battle in this one as the Terrapins own the 5th ranked pass defense and the Hokies field the 2nd best overall defense in the nation. Can Maryland find a way to get penetration on the Hokie offensive line without Vick burning them for a ton of yardage?

Georgia Tech @ Miami – Despite starting off the season with a bang, the Yellow Jackets have wilted under the pressure of their ACC schedule. This week they travel down to the Orange Bowl for a game against the Hurricanes. While the Canes are still a shell of their former selves on offense, they remain as potent as ever on defense with the nation’s top ranked unit, allowing just 227 yards per contest and 10 point a game. Can the Jackets’ Reggie Ball finally put together a masterful performance and carry the Rambling Wreck to victory over the 6th ranked team in the land?

Michigan @ Iowa – With the Big10 race as confusing as I’ve ever seen it, Michigan hits the road for the pink showers of Kinnick Stadium. Last week, the Wolverine’s bowed up and came out on top of Penn State thanks to a little last second heroics on the part of QB Chad Henne. Meanwhile, Iowa seems to have recovered nicely from that CyHawk debacle and subsequent Buckeye Bushwacking. Drew Tate has been on fire the past two weeks, but will he be able to throw against the teeth of this Big Blue D (best in the Big10 versus the pass).

Nebraska @ Missouri -- Despite taking different roads to get here, Nebraska and Missouri sit tied atop the Big12 North standings with Colorado. The Back’n’Gold are the perennial underachievers, looking to take control of the North Division and that subsequent invite to Reliant Center come December. Can the Huskers light up one of the weakest defenses in the conference and perty-up their passing stats, or will the Tigers finally drop the hammer?

Purdue @ Wisconsin – Now that the Badgers have that one loss behind them, the talk of them storming the conference table has subsided (it shouldn’t though as this one’s wide open). While Purdue is riding a 4 game losing streak, don’t think this one is a gimme for Barry’s Boys. The spread attack has given Wisconsin nothing but trouble this season, and don’t expect it to be any different here –even at Camp Randall. Fortunately for the Wisconsin faithful, the Boilermakers field the conference’s worst pass defense and 115th overall defense in the country. In other words: expect a wild shootout in this one, much like in the season opener with Bowling Green.

Texas Tech @ Texas – It’s good to see that the Big12 South won’t have to go the year without a Top 10 showdown. The Red Raiders bring their aerial fireworks into the confines of Royal-Memorial Stadium on Saturday to try and put an end to the Longhorns’ Rosy dreams. With them they bring the nation’s top rated pass attack, averaging 472 yards per game and 53 points per contest. Lining up on the other side of the ball is the Texas D: a fast, hard hitting unit that ranks 3rd in the nation in total defense, but more importantly 6th in the land and best in conference at defending the pass. This one should be a gem as the onus will be all on the speedy Texas DBs to keep pace with the Air Raiders streaking receivers.

Tennessee @ Alabama – In the other key matchup of the week, the Tide play host to a reeling Volunteer squad. After being pummeled by the Bulldogs, Tennessee took the week off to prepare for the SEC’s other undefeated team (I still say the scheduling gods hate Tennessee). Will Bama’s Brodie Croyle be able to get it done without his top two receivers? Fortunately, he may not have to as the SEC’s top ranked defense should be able to keep the Vols attack under wraps.

Auburn @ LSU – This is it, this is the game. The one that decides who wins the SEC-West. Yes, I know Bama is actually sitting atop the conference right now, but I just ain’t believing the Tide has rolled in just yet. The War Eagle has steadily improved their game since that opening week loss to Georgia Tech, and are now quietly back in the center of the SEC championship race. For the Bayou Bengals, a loss here and their dreams of an SEC championship are all but gone. Look for them to leave it all hanging out as it’s do or die time down in the land of the Red Stick.


The Wrap Up
Well, that about wraps it up for yet another week Between the Hashes, SportzFanz. As always, it’s been both a privilege and a pleasure. Look for our Weekly Run Down of the games on in your area to hit the shelves in a couple of days. Until then, do me a favor and send me your best/worst thoughts of the weekend, and we’ll see how the rest of you feel about that photo finish out in South Bend.